Growing up the two things I heard
the most were “don’t depend on anyone because eventually they leave” or “there
is always a end to friends.” I never really understood what this meant as a kid
because I always thought that the people in my life would always be here for me
no matter what and that they will always be in my life. But I was wrong.
Throughout my life I realized that the two sayings that were said to me a lot
were completely true. People enter and leave your life all the time but that’s
just the way life is. Nobody stays forever no matter what you do to keep them.
As a kid every time I made a friend
or anything I always thought that they were going to be in my life forever and
that we will grow old together like they do in the movies. I thought I could
trust them with everything and that they would keep it a secret and help me get
through it but I was wrong. I had this friend that I met in Kindergarten and
thought she was my best friend and that nothing could break us apart. I told
her everything that was going on in my life and we just talked about everything
possible. Talking to her was just the easiest thing ever. I didn’t feel
like I had to hide anything when I was around her. I could just be myself. But
after a couple years of not having time to hangout with each other and having
different classes we eventually drifted and we barely talked. Then she
was just another stranger around the neighborhood. After this I never really
wanted to get close with anyone knowing that eventually the person will leave
and I’ll be all by myself again fighting everything alone.
Then freshman year came around and I
made the same mistake of getting close with another person that eventually
became my “best friend.” After all those years of telling myself to not trust
anyone or get close with anyone I didn’t listen. I remember the day I made
a mistake like it was yesterday. We were on the bus talking about the
basketball banquet and how we were cracking lame jokes that made us laugh for
the longest time ever. We exchanged numbers and started texting every day and
that’s when I knew it was happening all over again. I told myself that I
wouldn’t get close to another person again with what happened before. But I
didn’t listen. I got close with this person and eventually she became my best
friend. I trusted her with everything that I couldn’t tell anyone. I told her
about every single problem going on in my life. She was the first person I ever
called and cried too. I depended on this person too much. I assumed that she would be there for me 24/7
anytime I needed her and that was my mistake there. She always did her best to
be there for me but eventually she was done hearing about my problems and me
complaining. Eventually we became distance and barely talked. After a couple
days of noticing this that’s when I knew I had repeated the same mistake I made
a while ago of depending on people too much.
What I heard growing up was exactly
how friendships worked out and I should have believed it. Today I learned that
people eventually leave no matter what they say so don’t depend on them. Like
people say there is always an end to friends. There’s not a friendship that
last no matter how hard you try to keep it together. It’s always you against
the world. Today I no longer believe in getting close with anyone because I
realize that I’m just setting myself up to get hurt again because ill end up
depending on them and then eventually they’ll leave. Even though all of this
runs through my head every day I still live my life and have friends but I just
remember to not become close enough to someone that I’ll eventually trust and
depend on because they will eventually leave and I will still have to face the
world by myself.
